“There Will Be A Test” 10 February 2008 - Pastor Shelley Cunningham Matthew 4:1-11

Two weeks ago our 7+8th grade confirmation students got a little surprise. It was the end of the unit on the 10 Commandments. I wanted to see how well they’d paid attention. So I decided to give them an exam – call it a ‘show-what-you-know’ exercise. An exercise in panic is more like it. Their reaction was pretty much what you’d expect: Once they realized I wasn’t joking, the anxiety level in the room rose exponentially. And the first words on everybody’s lips were, “What if I fail?”

What if I fail, indeed … that’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it? Ever wonder that yourself? I bet you have … maybe more often than you care to admit. Parents try their best to teach their children good values and judgment, but in their minds, they worry what if I fail? Lovers stand at the altar ready to commit their lives and hearts to one another in marriage, but that nagging voice says what if we fail? An entrepreneur takes a risk and starts a small business, but as he cosigns on the bank loan, all he can think is what if I fail? A country goes into a war that seems justified, but as years pass and soldiers die and people become more divided, the debate rages: what if we fail?

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to succeed. Maybe it’s because we want to get ahead, or because we don’t want to fall behind. But along the way some people get so caught up in the pressure that they’re willing to try almost anything so they don’t fail. Just look in the daily newspaper: Cheating, doping, lying, stealing, betrayal – they’re all symptoms of the same disease. And they’re all signs that even if you succeed on the outside, you’ve already failed the test of character.

After all, life isn’t one big exam; there is no great deathbed arbiter who awards points for good behavior or excessive suffering or knowing all the right answers. At the end, we all end up the same – ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Now, on the one hand, that can be freeing, in a way. It takes some of the pressure off of having to make the perfect correct choice all the time. It reminds us to take things one day at a time, because you never know what day might be your last.

But it also makes life harder. Because in some ways, then, every day is a test. Every day we have the chance to choose evil or good, to show strength or weakness. Every day it’s up to us to prove what kind of person we really are … and, like for those confirmands, some days bring challenges we don’t expect. How will we respond then?

We don’t know if Jesus expected what awaited him in the wilderness. Matthew says Jesus was led there by the Spirit. Mark goes even further: he says the Spirit drove Jesus there. It’s as if Jesus doesn’t have a choice. Right before this happens, Jesus is baptized. His father’s voice declares for the whole world to hear, “This is my son. I am so proud of him.” And now Jesus has to prove that he’s worthy of the job. So he ends up in the desert, to see what kind of stuff he’s made of. For 40 long, hot days and 40 cold, lonely nights he’s left to think, and to pray, and to figure out what it’s going take to make it through what lies ahead. I wonder if the question of failure ever crossed his mind. After all, the Jesus we see in the gospel doesn’t sound worried when the devil shows up. He passes the test with flying colors, quoting scripture and turning the devil’s words back on him. But if Jesus was fully human, then he must have worried just a little bit: what if I’m not strong enough? Not clever enough? Not brave enough? What if I fail?

Was it possible Jesus could have failed? Yes, I think so. It wasn’t a given. As he prepared to begin his public ministry, to claim his position as son of God living as a man on earth, Jesus needed to experience the worst of what humanity faces: the struggle to avoid temptation, the terror of being alone, the pain of doubt and uncertainty about the future. Just like you and I do, Jesus needed to figure out what it means to be faithful when life gets hard. And during those 40 days in the wilderness, Jesus really feels what it’s like to be human, because being human is messy. There are no guarantees that we’ll pass the tests we face each and every day.

But what I think Jesus shows us is a different meaning to what passing those tests looks like. You see, we’re conditioned to see the opposite of failure as success. And too often we think of success as something measurable, like a fat bank account or a big promotion or a top grade on an exam. We think that unless we’re able to solve all our problems – and make it look easy – that somehow we’re not doing the right thing.

I suppose you could say that Jesus succeeds because he faces down the devil, and in the end, Satan does leave him alone. But along the way, Jesus passes the test not by giving the right answers, but simply by persevering. Even when his stomach is growling with hunger, he doesn’t give up. Even when he’s driven crazy with loneliness, he keeps on keeping on. He is faithful in the face of life’s challenges. And along the way he comes to believe that he can do what he was sent here to do.

Could it be that the real value in being put to the test is not that we pass, but that they help us become the persons we are meant to be? Every time we face temptation, every time we find ourselves in a sticky situation, every time we feel as though we cannot get through what lies ahead – it is a chance to grow in character. But more than that, it’s a chance to grow closer to Jesus. And that is how we pass the test.

A woman I know named Barbara died last week. She wasn’t someone whose passing would merit much notice. Her life was marked by the trials she faced: growing up poor, pregnant at 18, married to an alcoholic, struggles with depression. By most people’s accounts she was more of a failure than a success. But Barbara had one thing going for her: as a young single mother, someone gave her a Bible. She started reading the Bible, and there she fell in love with Jesus. Every day, Barbara started her morning by reading a couple of chapters, and in prayer. And every day, she found the strength to endure whatever life tested her with. She tried to be the best mother she could. She learned to be satisfied with what she had. She found the strength to leave her abusive husband. And she never, ever stopped believing that God was with her. At Barbara’s funeral her daughter read the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. The words rang so true. For Barbara, the opposite of failure wasn’t success, but faithfulness. And in being faithful, she found eternal peace.

What kind of tests have you been struggling with lately? How have you prepared yourself for them? Because if your measure of success is by wealth, power, ambition or greatness, you’re been studying the wrong things. But if you set your hearts on different things – patience, compassion, gentleness, peace – you will begin to believe that Jesus understands the challenges you face. And you will begin to know, as Saint Paul writes in Romans, that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us.

The tests of life will come, my friends, and sometimes they will catch us by surprise. I hope the question you will ask yourself is not what if I fail? but how can I be faithful? Because God promises to walk with us every step of the way. And God’s love never fails. Amen.

GUIDED BY THE GOSPEL: GATHERING • GROWING • GIVING